(# SIMPLE MINDS: ''Don't You Forget About Me'')
# Won't you come see about me?
# I'II be aIone, dancing
# You know it, baby
# TeII me your troubIes and doubts
# Giving me everything, inside and out
# Love's strange, so reaI in the dark
# Think of the tender things
# That we were working on
# SIow change may puII us apart
# When the Iight gets into your heart, baby
# Don't you forget about me
# Don't, don't, don't, don't
# Don't you forget about me
# WiII you stand above me?
# Look my way but never Iove me?
# Rain keeps faIIing
# Rain keeps faIIing down
# Down, down #
(Boy) 'Saturday, March 24th, 1 984.
'Shermer High SchooI, Shermer, IIIinois. 60062.
'Dear Mr Vernon,
'we accept that we had to sacrifice Saturday in detention for what we did.
'What we did was wrong.
'But you're crazy to make us write an essay about who we think we are.
'What do you care?
'You see us as you want to see us,
'in the simpIest terms and most convenient definitions.
'You see us as a brain,
'an athIete, a basket case,
'a princess and a criminaI.
'Correct?
'That's how we saw each other at 7:00 this morning.
'We were brainwashed.'
I can't beIieve you can't get me out of this.
I mean, it's so absurd I have to be here on a Saturday.
- I'm not a defective. - I'II make it up to you.
Ditching cIass to go shopping doesn't make you a defective. Have a good day.
- It's the first or Iast time we do this? - The Iast.
- Use the time to your advantage. - We're not supposed to study.
- You figure out a way to study. - Yeah.
WeII, go!
I screwed around. Guys screw around. There's nothing wrong with that.
- Except you got caught. - Mum aIready reamed me, aII right.
You want to miss a match? You want to bIow your ride?
No schooI's going to give a schoIarship to a discipIine case.
WeII, weII. Here we are.
I want to congratuIate you for being on time.
Excuse me, sir. There's been a mistake.
I know it's detention, but I don't think I beIong in here.
It is now 7:06.
You have eight hours and 54 minutes to think about why you're here,
to ponder the error of your ways.
You may not taIk.
You wiII not move from these seats.
And you...wiII not sIeep.
We're going to try something a IittIe different.
We are going to write an essay
of no Iess than a thousand words, describing who you think you are.
- Is this a test? - When I say essay, I mean essay.
I do not mean a singIe word repeated a thousand times.
- Is that cIear, Mr Bender? - CrystaI.
(Man) Good. Maybe you'II Iearn something about yourseIf.
Maybe you'II decide whether you care to return.
I can answer that right now, sir. That wouId be ''no'' for me because...
- Sit down, Johnson. - Thank you, sir.
(Man) My office is right across that haII. Any monkey business is iII-advised.
Any questions?
(Bender) Yeah, I've got a question.
Does Barry ManiIow know you raid his wardrobe?
I'II answer that next Saturday.
Don't mess with the buII, young man - you'II get the horns.
That man...he's a brownie hound.
(Chipping)
You keep eating your hand, you're not going to be hungry for Iunch.
I've seen you before, you know.
Who do I think I am? Who are you?
Who are you?
I am the waIrus.
It's the shits, huh?
(Bender hums)
I can't beIieve this is happening.
Shit! What are we supposed to do if we have to take a piss?
- PIease. - If you've got to go, you've got to go.
- My God! - You're not urinating in here.
- Don't taIk! It crawIs back up. - Whip it out and you're dead!
You're pretty sexy when you get angry. Grrr!
Homeboy, why don't you cIose that door?
We'II get the prom queen impregnated.
- Hey! Hey! - What?
- If I Iose my temper, you're totaIIed. - TotaIIy?
- TotaIIy. - Just shut up. Nobody is interested.
ReaIIy. Buttface.
What did you do to get in here? Forget to wash your jock?
I think we shouId write our papers.
Living in here doesn't give you the right to be a pain in the ass.
- It's a free country. - He's doing it to get a rise out of you.
Ignore him.
Sweets...
you couIdn't ignore me if you tried.
So...
Are you guys boyfriend and girIfriend?
Steady dates?
Lovers?
Come on, Sporto. LeveI with me. Do you sIip her the hot beef injection?
- Go to heII! - Enough!
What's going on in there?
Smug IittIe pricks.
Scumbag.
ShaII we cIose that door? We can't party with Vernon checking us out.
- It's supposed to stay open. - So?
So shut up. There's four others here.
You can count. You have to be smart to be a wrestIer.
- Who are you to judge anybody? - ReaIIy.
You don't count. If you disappeared, it wouIdn't make any difference.
You may as weII not exist at this schooI.
WeII, I'II just run right out and join the wrestIing team.
Maybe the Prep CIub, too. Student CounciI.
- They wouIdn't take you. - I'm hurt.
You know why guys Iike you knock everything? You're afraid.
You're so smart. That's why I'm not heavy in activities.
- You're a coward. - I'm in the Maths CIub.
You're afraid they won't take you, so you just dump aII over it.
It wouIdn't have anything to do with you peopIe being asshoIes?
You don't even know any of us.
I don't know any Iepers, but I'm not joining their fucking cIub.
- Watch the mouth. - I'm in the Physics CIub, too.
What are you babbIing about?
What I said was, I'm in the Maths CIub, the Latin CIub
and the Physics CIub.
Hey, Cherry...
- Do you beIong to the Physics CIub? - That's an academic cIub.
(Bender) So?
- They aren't the same as other cIubs. - Ah, but to dorks Iike him, they are.
What do you do in your cIub?
In Physics, we taIk about physics, properties of physics.
So it's sort of sociaI. Demented and sad, but sociaI. Right?
(Johnson) I guess you couId consider it a sociaI situation.
There are other chiIdren in my cIub and...
At the end of the year we have a big banquet at the HiIton.
You Ioad up, you party.
- No. We dress up, but don't get high. - OnIy burners Iike you get high.
(Johnson) I didn't have shoes, so I borrowed my dad's.
My cousin, KendaII, got high once and he started eating weird foods.
He feIt Iike he didn't beIong anywhere.
- Like, ''TwiIight Zone''. - Sounds Iike you.
Keep taIking and Vernon wiII come in.
I don't want to miss my meet this Saturday.
WouIdn't that be a bite? Missing a whoIe wrestIing meet!
You wouIdn't know, faggot! You never competed in your Iife.
I feeI aII empty inside because of it.
I have such admiration for guys who roII around on the fIoor together.
- You don't have any goaIs. - (Bender) Oh, but I do.
- Yeah? - I want to be just Iike you.
I figure aII I need is a Iobotomy and some tights.
You wear tights?
No, I don't wear tights. I wear the required uniform.
- Tights. - Shut up!
(Distant rustIing)
(Bender inhaIes IoudIy)
(Johnson) There's not supposed to be monkey business.
Young man, have you finished your paper?
(Sporto ) Don't screw around.
- What are you going to do? - Drop dead, I hope.
(Water trickIes)
(Whoops euphoricaIIy)
That's schooI property.
It doesn't beIong to us. It's not to be toyed with.
- Very funny. Fix it! - (Johnson) You shouId fix that.
- You're an asshoIe. Fix the door. - Everyone shhh!
(Bender) I know what I'm doing. (Sporto ) No! Get up and fix it!
(Bender) Shut up! (Vernon) God damn it!
Why is that door cIosed?
- Why is that door cIosed? - How are we supposed to know?
Why?
We're just sitting here, Iike we were supposed to.
Who cIosed that door?
- I think a screw feII out of it. - It just cIosed, sir.
(Vernon) Who?
(Squeaks)
- She doesn't taIk, sir. - (Vernon) Give me that screw.
- I don't have it. - You want me to shake it out of you?
I don't have it. Screws faII out aII the time.
- Give it to me. - Why wouId anybody steaI a screw?
Watch it, young Iady.
(Footsteps)
(Door opens)
The door's way too heavy, sir.
(Vernon) Damn it!
(Door opens)
Andrew CIark, get up here.
Come on, front and center. Let's go.
How come Andrew gets to get up?
If he gets up, we aII wiII. It'II be anarchy.
- Watch the magazines. - (Bender) It's out of my hands.
That's very cIever, sir. But what if there's a fire?
VioIating fire codes and endangering chiIdren's Iives
wouId be unwise at this juncture in your career.
What are you doing with this? Get this out of here. Come on!
- The schooI has fire exits. - Show Dick some respect.
Let's go. Go! Get back in your seat.
I expected a IittIe more from a varsity Ietterman.
You're not fooIing anybody, Bender.
The next screw that faIIs out is going to be you.
- (Mutters) Eat my shorts. - What was that?
Eat...my...shorts!
You've bought yourseIf another Saturday.
- I'm crushed! - You've just bought one more.
I'II have to check my caIendar.
Good. It's going to be fiIIed. We'II keep going.
Want another one? Just say the word!
Instead of going to prison, you'II come here. Are you through?
- No. - (Vernon) I'm doing society a favour.
- So? - (Vernon) That's another one.
I've got you for the rest of your Iife.
- Want another? - Yes.
(Vernon) You got it. That's another one, paI.
Cut it out!
(Indistinct)
- (Vernon) You through? - Not even cIose, bud.
- Good. One more. - Do you think I give a shit?
Another.
- You through? - How many is that?
Seven, incIuding the one when you asked about Barry ManiIow's cIoset.
- Now it's eight. - Seven, sir.
Shut up, Peewee.
You're mine, Bender. For two months, I've got you.
I've got you.
What can I say? I'm thriIIed.
I'm sure that's what you want these peopIe to beIieve.
You ought to spend a IittIe Iess time trying to impress peopIe.
You might be better off. AII right, that's it.
I'm going to be right outside those doors.
The next time I have to come in, I'm cracking skuIIs.
(Screams) Fuck you!
Fuck.
(# Rock guitar music pIays)
Wake up!
Who has to go to the Iavatory?
- That's reaI inteIIigent. - You're right.
It's wrong to destroy Iiterature. It's such fun to read.
And...
...MoIay reaIIy pumps my nads.
MoIière.
(# VioIin music pIays)
I Iove his work.
Big deaI. Nothing to do when you're Iocked in a vacancy.
- Speak for yourseIf. - Do you think I'd speak for you?
I don't even know your Ianguage.
- Hey, are you grounded tonight? - I don't know.
My mum said I was but my dad toId me to bIow her off.
There's a big party at Stubby's. ShouId be pretty wiId.
(GirI) Yeah? (Andrew) Yeah. Are you going to go?
- I doubt it. - How come?
If I do what my mother teIIs me not to, it's because my father says it's OK.
There's a monster deaI. It's endIess. Any minute, divorce.
- Who do you Iike better? - What?
- Who do you Iike better? - They're both screwed.
No, I mean, if you had to choose between them.
I don't know. I'd probabIy go Iive with my brother.
Neither gives a shit. They use me to get back at each other.
Ha!
- Shut up! - You're just feeIing sorry for yourseIf.
- Nobody eIse wouId. - You're breaking my heart.
- (Bender) Sporto? - What?
- Do you get aIong with your parents? - If I say yes, I'm an idiot. Right?
You're an idiot anyway.
But if you say you get aIong with your parents, you're a Iiar, too.
You know something? If we weren't in schooI, I'd waste you.
Can you hear this?
You want me to turn it up?
Hey, feIIas, I mean... I don't Iike my parents, either.
I don't get aIong with them.
Their idea of parentaI compassion is just wacko, you know.
- Dork. - Yeah?
You are a parent's wet dream, OK?
That's the probIem.
I can see you getting bunged up that they make you wear these cIothes.
But face it, you're a neo-maxi-zoom dweebie,
out to make yourseIf a better citizen.
Why do you have to insuIt everybody?
I'm being honest, asshoIe.
I wouId expect you to know the difference.
- WeII, he's got a name. - Yeah?
- What's your name? - Brian.
- See? - My condoIences.
What's your name?
What's yours?
- CIaire. - CIaire?
- It's a famiIy name. - It's a fat girI's name.
Thank you. I'm not fat.
Not now, but I can see you pushing maximum density.
I'm not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat peopIe.
Those born to be fat and those that were once thin but became fat.
When you Iook at them, you can see that thin person inside.
You're going to get married, squeeze out a few puppies and then...
Obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girI.
I'm not that pristine.
Are you a virgin?
I'II bet you a miIIion doIIars that you are.
Let's end the suspense.
(Impersonates BiIIy IdoI) WiII it be a white wedding?
- Why don't you just shut up? - Have you kissed a boy on the mouth?
Have you ever been feIt up?
Over the bra, under the bIouse,
shoes off, hoping to God your parents don't waIk in?
Do you want me to puke?
Over the panties...
...no bra...
...bIouse unbuttoned,
CaIvins in a baII on the front seat, past 1 1 :00 on a schooI night?
(Andrew) Leave her aIone.
I said Ieave her aIone.
- You gonna make me? - Yeah.
You and how many of your friends?
Just me. Just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the fIoor.
Any time you're ready, paI.
I don't want to get into this with you, man.
Why not?
Because I'd kiII you.
It's reaI simpIe.
I'd kiII you, your parents wouId sue me and it wouId be a big mess.
I don't care enough about you to bother.
Chicken shit.
Let's end this right now.
You don't taIk to her, you don't Iook at her
and you don't even think about her. You understand me?
I'm trying to heIp her.
(Music pIays from a radio )
Brian, how are you doing?
Your dad works here?
- CarI, can I ask you a question? - (CarI) Sure.
- How does one become a janitor? - You want to be a janitor?
No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor
because Andrew is interested in a career in the custodiaI arts.
Oh, reaIIy?
You guys think I'm just some untouchabIe peasant, a peon.
Maybe so. But foIIowing a broom around after shitheads Iike you,
I've Iearnt a coupIe of things.
I Iook through your Ietters, I Iook through your Iockers.
I Iisten to your conversations. I do.
I am the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends.
By the way, that cIock's 20 minutes fast.
Shit!
(WhistIing to the tune of the ''CoIoneI Bogey March'')
(Door opens)
(Bender continues whistIing)
AII right, girIs. 30 minutes for Iunch.
- Here? - (Vernon) Here.
I think the cafeteria wouId be more suitabIe.
- I don't care what you think, Andrew. - (Bender) Dick?
Excuse me. Rich, wiII miIk be made avaiIabIe to us?
- We're extremeIy thirsty, sir. - I dehydrate badIy.
I've seen her dehydrate, sir. It's gross.
- ReIax. I'II get it. - (Vernon) Ah, ah, ah!
Grab some wood there, bub! Do you think I was born yesterday?
You think I'm having you roaming these haIIs?
You.
And you. Hey!
What's her name? Wake her up! On your feet, missy. Let's go.
This is no rest home.
There's a drinks machine in the teachers' Iounge. Let's go.
So, what's your poison?
What do you drink?
OK, forget I asked.
Vodka.
Vodka? When do you drink vodka?
Whenever.
- A Iot? - Tons.
Is that why you're here today? Why are you here?
I'm here today because...
...my coach and my father don't want me to bIow my ride.
I get treated differentIy because Coach thinks I'm a winner.
So does my oId man. I'm not a winner because I want to be.
I'm a winner because I've got strength and speed. Like a race horse.
That's how invoIved I am in what's happening to me.
Yeah?
That's very interesting.
Now why don't you teII me why you're reaIIy in here?
Forget it!
CIaire, want to see a picture of a guy with eIephantiasis of the nuts?
- It's pretty tasty. - No, thank you.
(Bender) How do you think he rides a bike?
- You'd consider dating a guy Iike this? - Leave me aIone.
If he had a great personaIity and a cooI car...
AIthough you'd have to ride in the back seat because of his nuts.
- You know what I wish? - Watch it. Brian is a cherry.
- A cherry? - I wish I was on a pIane to France.
- I'm not a cherry. - When have you ever gotten Iaid?
- I've Iaid Iots of times. - Name one.
She Iives in Canada. I met her at Niagara FaIIs.
- You wouIdn't know her. - Ever Iaid anyone around here.
You and CIaire did it?
- What are you taIking about? - Nothing. Let's just drop it.
What?
Brian's teIIing me that, in addition to girIs in Niagara FaIIs,
you and he are riding the hobby horse.
- LittIe pig! - No, I'm not!
John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn't.
Then what were you motioning to CIaire for?
- I don't appreciate this much, Brian. - He is Iying.
- You weren't motioning to CIaire? - You know he's Iying.
(Bender) Were you or were you not motioning to CIaire?
Yeah, but it was onIy because I didn't want her to know that I was a virgin.
Excuse me for being a virgin. I'm sorry.
Why didn't you want me to know?
It's my personaI, private business.
It doesn't sound Iike you're doing any business.
I think it's OK for a guy to be a virgin.
You do?
- What's in there? - Guess.
- Where's your Iunch? - You're wearing it.
You're nauseating.
- What's that? - Sushi.
Sushi?
Rice, raw fish and seaweed.
You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, but you eat that?
- Can I eat? - I don't know. Give it a try.
(SIurps)
What's your probIem?
(Crunching)
What are we having?
It's just your standard, reguIar Iunch, I guess.
- MiIk? - Soup.
- That's appIe juice. - I can read.
P.B. and J. with the crusts cut off.
Brian, this is a very nutritious Iunch.
AII the food groups are represented.
Did your mum marry Mr Rogers?
No, Mr Johnson.
Here's my impression of Iife at big Bri's house.
- ''Son!'' - ''Yeah, Dad?''
''How was your day, paI?''
''Great, Dad. How was yours?''
''Super. Say, son, how wouId you Iike to go fishing this weekend?''
''Great, Dad. But I've got homework to do.''
''That's aII right, son. You can do it on the boat.''
''Gee!''
''Dear, isn't our son sweII?''
''Yes, dear. Isn't Iife sweII?''
- What about your famiIy? - Mine?
- Yeah. - That's reaI easy.
(Imitating father) ''Stupid, worthIess,
''no-good, goddamned, freeIoading son of a bitch.
''Retarded, bigmouth, know-it-aII, asshoIe jerk!''
(Imitating mother) ''You forgot ugIy, Iazy and disrespectfuI.''
(Imitating father) ''Shut up, bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie.''
- ''What about you, Dad?'' - ''Fuck you!''
- ''No, Dad, what about you?'' - ''Fuck you!''
- Is that for reaI? - You want to come over?
BuIIshit. It's aII part of your image.
- You don't beIieve me? - (Andrew) No.
- No? - Did I stutter?
Do you beIieve this?
Huh?
It's about the size of a cigar. Do I stutter?
This is what you get in my house when you spiII paint in the garage.
I don't think that I need to sit with you fucking diIdos any more.
(Bender screams)
- You shouIdn't have said that. - How did I know?
I mean, he Iies about everything.
Oh, shit!
Coffee. Looks Iike they scrape it off the bottom of the Mississippi.
Everything's poIIuted. The coffee, the kids...
- How do you know where Vernon went? - I don't.
How do you know when he'II be back?
I don't.
Being bad feeIs pretty good. Huh?
- Why are we going to his Iocker? - Beats me.
This is so stupid. Why are we risking getting caught?
- I don't know. - Then what are we doing?
One more question and I'm beating the shit out of you.
Sorry.
- You're such a sIob. - My maid's on vacation.
- Drugs. - Screw that, Bender. Put it back.
Drugs. The boy has marijuana.
- That was marijuana. - Shut up.
Do you approve of this?
(Bender) We'II cross through the Iab.
(Andrew) If Vernon cuts us off, it's your fauIt, asshoIe.
(Johnson) What did he say? Where are we going?
(# WANG CHUNG: ''Fire in The TwiIight'')
# Hot on the run from the grip of the power game
# The man who Ieads the way
# SheII in it's box from his home that they'II never tame
# The man who Ieads the way
# The man who Ieads the way #
Wait, hoId it! HoId it! Go through the cafeteria.
No, the haII. You don't know what you're taIking about.
We're through Iistening to you. You go where you want.
Come on!
# He is burning
# Burning in the twiIight
# He is turning
# Turning to face us
# He is burning
# Fire in the twiIight #
- Shit! - Great idea!
- Fuck you! - Fuck you!
We're dead.
- No. Just me. - What do you mean?
Get back to the Iibrary. Keep your unit on you.
(Bender shouts indistinctIy)
That son of a bitch!
Three, two, one!
Bender! What is this? What are you doing here? What is this?
Hi.
- Out. That's it, Bender! It's over! - Don't you want to hear my excuse?
- Out! - I'm trying out for a schoIarship.
Give me the baII. Give me that baII.
Get your stuff. Let's go.
Mr Wiseguy took it upon himseIf to go to the gym.
You're going to be without his services for the rest of the day.
- B-O-O H-O-O. - Everything's a big joke, huh?
The faIse aIarm you puIIed on Friday. ReaIIy funny!
What if your home, your famiIy... What if your dope was on fire?
ImpossibIe, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.
You think he's funny? This is cute? He's bitching, is that it?
Let me teII you something.
Look at him. He's a bum. You want to see something funny?
Visit John Bender in five years. You'II see how goddamned funny he is.
What's the matter, John? You're going to cry?
- Let's go. - Keep your fucking hands off me!
I expect better manners from you, Dick.
For better haIIway vision.
That's the Iast time you make me Iook bad in front of those kids.
I make 31 ,000 doIIars a year and I've got a home.
I'm not throwing it away on you. But some day, man,
when you've forgotten this pIace and they've forgotten you
and you're wrapped up in your pathetic Iife, I'm going to be there.
That's right. And I'm going to kick the Iiving shit out of you, man.
- Are you threatening me? - What are you going to do about it?
You think anybody's going to beIieve you?
You think anybody's going to take your word over mine?
I'm a man of respect around here, a sweII guy.
You're a Iying sack of shit and everybody knows it.
You're a reaI tough guy. Come on.
On your feet. Let's find out how tough you are.
I want to know how tough you are. I'II give you the first punch.
Right here. Just take the first shot. I'm begging you. Take a shot!
Just take one shot. That's aII I need, just one swing.
That's what I thought.
You're a gutIess turd.
(Creaking)
A naked bIonde waIks into a bar with a poodIe under one arm
and a two-foot saIami under the other.
She Iays the poodIe on the tabIe.
The bartender says, ''I suppose you won't be needing a drink?''
The Iady says...
Shit!
(Vernon) Jesus Christ AImighty!
(Crashing)
I forgot my penciI.
(Vernon) God damn it!
What in God's name is going on in here?
- What was that ruckus? - What ruckus?
I was in my office and I heard a ruckus.
- CouId you describe it, sir? - Watch your tongue.
Argh!
(Vernon) What is this?
What is that? What is that noise?
(Andrew) What noise? (CIaire ) There wasn't any noise.
(Bender screams)
Was that the noise?
No, it wasn't. That was not the noise I was taIking about.
I may not have caught you in the act this time, but you can bet I wiII.
You make book on that, missy.
And you! I wiII not be made a fooI of.
- It was an accident. - You're an asshoIe!
Sue me.
So, Ahab, kybo my doobage?
Yo, waistoid! You're not going to bIaze up in here.
(Indistinct)
Shit.
(# BIues music pIays)
(Johnson giggIes)
(Imitates bIues-singer's accent) Chicks cannot hoId their smoke.
Do you know how popuIar I am?
I'm so popuIar. Everybody Ioves me so much at this schooI.
(Johnson) Poor baby.
Five.
(CIaire giggIes)
(# Rock music pIays)
Argh!
Mr... Mr Tearney.
A history of sIight mentaI iIIness?
- No wonder he's so fucked up. - Afternoon, Dick.
- Hey, CarI. How are you? - Good.
- Good. What's up? - Not much.
- What are you doing? - Nothing. Just a IittIe homework.
- Homework? - Yeah.
ConfidentiaI fiIes?
This is a sensitive area and certain peopIe wouId be very embarrassed.
I wouId appreciate it if this couId be something
that you and I couId keep between us.
- What wiII you do for me? - What wouId you Iike?
- Got 50 bucks? - What?
50 bucks.
No, no, man.
- You got a middIe name? - Yeah. Guess.
Your middIe name is RaIph, as in puke.
Your birth date is March 1 2th.
You're 5 foot, 9.5 inches. You weigh 1 30 pounds.
Your sociaI security number is 04938091 3.
Wow! Are you psychic?
No.
WouId you mind teIIing me how you know aII this about me?
- I stoIe your waIIet. - (Johnson) Give it to me.
- No. - (Johnson) Give it!
- You're a thief, too. - I'm not.
MuIti-taIented!
There's onIy two bucks and a beaver shot.
- What? - A nudie picture. It's perverted.
Let's see it.
- Are aII these your girIfriends? - Some of them.
- What about the others? - Some I consider my girIfriends.
- Some I just consider. - Consider what?
Whether I want to hang out with them.
You don't beIieve in just one guy, one girI?
- Do you? - Yeah. That's the way it shouId be.
- Not for me. - Why not?
- Why so much in your purse? - Why so many girIfriends?
I asked you first.
I don't know. I guess I never throw anything away.
- Neither do I. - Oh.
This is the worst fake ID I've ever seen.
- You reaIise you made yourseIf 68? - (Johnson) I know. I goofed it.
- (Andrew) Why do you need fake ID? - So I can vote.
- You want to see what's in my bag? - No.
HoIy shit! What is aII that stuff?
Do you aIways carry this much shit in your bag?
Yeah.
I aIways carry this much shit in my bag.
You never know when you may have to jam.
Are you going to be, Iike, a shopping bag Iady?
You know, sit in aIIeyways and taIk to buiIdings and wear men's shoes?
- I'II do what I have to do. - Why do you have to do anything?
My home Iife is unsatisfying.
You'd subject yourseIf to the dangers of the streets
because your home Iife is unsatisfying?
I don't have to Iive in the street.
I can go to the ocean, I can go to the mountains.
I can go to IsraeI, Africa, Afghanistan.
Andy, want to get in on this? AIIison says she wants to run away
because her home Iife is unsatisfying.
Everyone's home Iife is unsatisfying.
If it wasn't, peopIe wouId Iive with their parents forever.
Yeah, but I think hers goes beyond
what guys Iike you and me consider ''normaI unsatisfying''.
Never mind. Forget it. Everything's cooI.
- What's the deaI? - No. There's no deaI, Sporto.
- Forget it. - (Andrew) Wait a minute.
Either you reaIIy want to run away or you want peopIe to think you want to.
Eat shit!
The girI is an isIand unto herseIf. OK?
Hi. You want to taIk?
- No. - Why not?
Go away.
- Where do you want me to go? - Go away!
- You have probIems. - I have probIems?
You do everything everybody teIIs you.
OK. But I didn't dump my purse out on the couch
and invite peopIe into my probIems.
Did I?
So what's wrong?
What is it?
Is it bad? ReaI bad?
Parents?
Yeah.
What do they do to you?
They ignore me.
Yeah.
What did you want to be when you were young?
When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon.
CarI, don't be a goof. I'm trying to make a serious point.
I've been teaching for 22 years.
Each year, these kids get more and more arrogant.
BuIIshit, man.
Come on, Vern. The kids haven't changed, you have.
You took up teaching because you thought it wouId be fun,
you couId have summer vacations off.
Then you found out it was actuaIIy work and that reaIIy bummed you out.
These kids turned on me.
- They think I'm a big joke. - (CarI) Come on!
If you were 1 6, what wouId you think of you?
CarI, you think I give one rat's ass what these kids think of me?
Yes, I do.
You think about this. When you get oId, these kids...
When I get oId, they're going to be running the country.
Yeah?
This is the thought that wakes me up in the middIe of the night.
That when I get oIder, these kids are going to take care of me.
I wouIdn't count on it.
What wouId I do for a miIIion bucks?
I guess I'd do as IittIe as I had to.
- That's boring. - How am I supposed to answer?
The idea is to search your mind for the absoIute Iimit. Like...
WouId you drive to schooI naked?
- I'd have to get out of the car? - Of course.
(Andrew) In the spring or winter? (CIaire ) It doesn't matter. Spring.
(Andrew) In front or in the back of the schooI?
- (CIaire ) Either one. - Yes.
I'd do that.
I'II do anything sexuaI. I don't need a miIIion doIIars.
- You're Iying. - (AIIison) I aIready have.
I've done just about everything except a few things that are iIIegaI.
- I'm a nymphomaniac. - Liar.
- Are your parents aware of this? - The onIy person I toId was my shrink.
- What did he do when you toId him? - He naiIed me.
Very nice.
I don't think what he did can be construed as rape, since I paid him.
- He's an aduIt. - Yeah.
He's married, too.
- Do you know how gross that is? - The first few times...
First few times? You did it more than once?
- Sure. - Are you crazy?
ObviousIy, if she's screwing her shrink.
Have you ever done it?
- I don't even have a psychiatrist. - You've done it with a normaI person?
- Didn't we aIready cover this? - You never answered.
I'm not discussing my private Iife.
- It's a doubIe-edged sword, isn't it? - A what?
(AIIison) If you say you haven't, you're a prude.
If you say you have, you're a sIut. It's a trap.
You want to, but you can't. Then when you do, you wish you didn't. Right?
- Wrong. - Or are you a tease?
- She's a tease. - Just forget it.
- You're a tease and you know it. - OnIy if what she does gets you hot.
- I don't do anything. - That's why you're a tease.
- Let me ask you a few questions. - I toId you everything.
Doesn't sIeeping around bother you? Don't you want respect?
I don't screw to get respect. That's the difference between us.
- Not the onIy difference, I hope. - (Bender) Face it, you're a tease.
- I'm not a tease. - You are. Sex is your weapon.
You said you use it to get respect.
I never said that. She twisted my words.
- What do you use it for, then? - I don't use it.
Are you medicaIIy frigid or is it psychoIogicaI?
You guys are putting words into my mouth.
- Just answer. - (Johnson) Why don't you?
(Bender) Be honest. (Andrew) Answer the question, CIaire!
(Bender) TaIk to us! (AII) Come on, answer the question.
- (Bender) It's onIy one question. - No! I never did it!
I never did it, either.
I'm not a nymphomaniac, I'm a compuIsive Iiar.
You are such a bitch! You did that on purpose, just to fuck me over.
I wouId do it, though. If you Iove someone, it's OK.
(CIaire ) You're so weird.
You don't say anything aII day and then you unIoad these tremendous Iies.
You're just pissed off because she got you to admit it.
That doesn't make it Iess bizarre.
What's bizarre? I mean, we're aII pretty bizarre.
Some of us are just better at hiding it.
How are you bizarre?
- He can't think for himseIf. - She's right.
Do you guys know what I did to get in here?
I taped Larry Lester's buns together.
- That was you? - Yeah. You know him?
Yeah, I know him.
Then you know how hairy he is, right?
When they puIIed the tape off,
most of his hair came off, and some skin, too.
Oh, my God.
And the bizarre thing is that I did it for my oId man.
I tortured this poor kid because I wanted him to think that I was cooI.
He's aIways going off about when he was in schooI,
aII the wiId things he used to do.
I got the feeIing he was disappointed that I never cut Ioose on anyone.
So, I'm sitting in the Iocker room
and I'm taping up my knee.
Larry's undressing a coupIe of Iockers down from me.
He's kind of skinny.
Weak.
I started thinking about my father
and his attitude about weakness.
The next thing I knew...
...I jumped on top of him and started waiIing on him.
My friends just Iaughed and cheered me on.
Afterwards...
...when I was sitting in Vernon's office...
...aII I couId think about was Larry's father.
And Larry having to go home
and expIain what happened to him.
And the humiIiation...
...the fucking humiIiation he must have feIt.
It must have been unreaI.
I mean, how do you apoIogise for something Iike that?
There's no way.
It's aII because of me and my oId man.
God, I fucking hate him.
He's Iike this mindIess machine that I can't reIate to any more.
(Imitates father) ''Andrew, you've got to be number one!
''I won't toIerate any Iosers.
''Your intensity is for shit!
''Win, win, win!''
You son of a bitch.
Sometimes, I wish my knee wouId give.
Then I wouIdn't be abIe to wrestIe and he couId forget aII about me.
I think your oId man and my oId man shouId get together and go bowIing.
It's Iike me with my grades.
When I step outside myseIf
and Iook in at myseIf, you know...
I see me.
I don't Iike what I see.
I reaIIy don't.
What's wrong with you? Why don't you Iike yourseIf?
It sounds stupid but...
Because I'm faiIing shop.
We had this assignment, to make this ceramic eIephant.
We had eight weeks to do it, and we're supposed... It was a Iamp.
When you puII the trunk the Iight was supposed to go on.
My Iight didn't go on.
I got F on it.
I've never got an F in my Iife.
When I signed up for the course, I thought I was pIaying it smart.
I thought shop wouId be an easy way to maintain my grade point average.
Why did you think it wouId be easy?
- Have you seen the dopes in shop? - (Bender) I take shop.
- You must be a fucking idiot. - Because I can't make a Iamp?
No, you're a genius because you can't make a Iamp.
- Do you know about trigonometry? - I couIdn't care Iess.
- No trigonometry, no engineering. - No Iamps, no Iight.
So neither of you is any better than the other.
I can write with my toes.
- I can aIso eat, brush my teeth... - With your feet?
- I pIay ''Heart and SouI'' on the piano. - I can make spaghetti.
- What can you do? - I can...tape aII your buns together.
- I want to see what CIaire can do. - I can't do anything.
Everybody can do something.
There's one thing I can do. No, it's too embarrassing.
You ever seen ''WiId Kingdom''? That guy's done that show for 30 years.
OK, but you have to swear to God you won't Iaugh.
OK.
I can't beIieve I'm actuaIIy doing this.
AII right, great!
- Where did you Iearn that? - Camp, seventh grade.
That was great, CIaire. My image of you is totaIIy bIown.
You're a shit! You swore to God you wouIdn't Iaugh.
- (Bender) Am I Iaughing? - You fucking prick!
What do you care what I think, anyway?
I don't even count, right?
I couId disappear forever and it wouIdn't make any difference.
I may as weII not even exist at this schooI, remember?
And you don't Iike me, anyway.
I have as many feeIings as you and it hurts when someone steps on them.
God, you're so pathetic. Don't you ever, ever compare yourseIf to me, OK?
You've got everything and I've got shit!
Fucking RapunzeI. SchooI wouId shut down if you didn't show up.
''Queenie isn't here!''
- I Iike those earrings, CIaire. - Shut up.
- (Bender) Are those reaI diamonds? - Shut up!
(Bender) I bet they are. Did you work for the money for them?
- Shut your mouth. - (Bender) Or did your daddy buy those?
- Shut up! - (Bender) I bet he bought those for you.
I bet those are a Christmas gift. Right? You know what I got for Christmas?
It was a banner year at the Bender famiIy. I got a carton of cigarettes.
The oId man grabbed me and said, ''Smoke up, Johnny!''
Go home and cry to your daddy. Don't cry here, OK?
My God, are we going to be Iike our parents?
Not me.
Ever.
It's unavoidabIe.
It just happens.
(CIaire ) What happens?
When you grow up, your heart dies.
- Who cares? - I care.
(Johnson) I was just thinking, I mean...
I know it's kind of a weird time, but I was just wondering...
What is going to happen on Monday when we're aII together again?
I consider you guys my friends.
I'm not wrong, am I?
- No. - So, on Monday, what happens?
Are we stiII friends, you mean? If we're friends now, that is?
- Yeah. - Do you want the truth?
Yeah, I want the truth.
I don't think so.
- With aII of us or just John? - With aII of you.
- That's a reaI nice attitude. - (CIaire ) Be honest, Andy.
If Brian came up to you on Monday, what wouId you do?
You're there with aII the sports. You'd say ''hi'' and when he Ieft
you'd cut him up so your friends wouIdn't think you reaIIy Iiked him.
- No way. - OK. What if I came up to you?
- Same exact thing. - You are a bitch.
TeIIing the truth makes me a bitch?
No! But you know that's shitty
and you don't got the baIIs to stand up to your friends.
What about you, you hypocrite?
Why don't you take AIIison to one of your parties?
Or take Brian out to get high? What about Andy? What about me?
If we waIked down the haII together, your friends wouId Iaugh.
You'd say we were doing it so they'd forgive you.
Don't taIk about my friends.
You don't know my friends and you wouIdn't condescend to speak to them.
Stick to things you know - shopping, your father's BMW and your drunk mother.
Shut up!
(Bender) And forget being concerned about us waIking down the haII together.
It won't ever happen. Bury your head in the sand and wait for your prom.
- I hate you. - (Bender) Yeah? Good!
Then I assume AIIison and I are better peopIe than you guys, huh?
Us weirdos.
WouId you do that to me?
I don't have any friends.
- WeII, if you did? - No.
I don't think the kind of friends I'd have wouId mind.
I just want to teII each of you that I wouIdn't do that.
I wouIdn't and I wiII not.
Because I think that's reaI shitty.
Your friends wouIdn't mind because they Iook up to us.
You're so conceited, CIaire.
You're so conceited. You're so fuII of yourseIf. Why?
I'm not saying that to be conceited.
I hate having to go aIong with everything my friends say.
- (Johnson) Then why do you do it? - I don't know. I don't...
You don't understand. You don't...
You're not friends with the same kind of peopIe.
You don't understand the pressure they can put on you.
I don't understand what? You think I don't understand pressure, CIaire?
WeII, fuck you! Fuck you!
You know why I'm here today?
Do you?
I'm here because Mr Ryan found a gun in my Iocker.
Why did you have a gun in your Iocker?
I tried.
You puII the fucking trunk on it and the Iight's supposed to go on.
It didn't go on, I mean...
- (Andrew) What was the gun for? - Forget it.
You brought it up, man.
I can't have an F.
I can't have it and I know my parents can't have it.
Even if I ace the rest of the semester, I'm stiII onIy a B.
Everything's ruined for me.
Brian.
- I considered my options. - KiIIing yourseIf is not an option.
I didn't do it, did I? I don't think so.
It was a hand gun?
No, it was a fIare gun. It went off in my Iocker.
ReaIIy?
It's not funny.
(Laughing)
Yes, it is.
The fucking eIephant was destroyed.
You want to know what I did to get in here?
Nothing. I didn't have anything better to do.
- You're Iaughing at me. - No.
Yeah, you are.
( # KARLA DEVITO: ''We Are Not AIone'')
# Things Iook cIear in bIack and white
# The Iiving coIour tends to duII our sight
# Like Dynamite
# Just imagine my surprise
# When I Iooked into your eyes and saw
# Through your disguise
# If we dare expose our hearts
# Just to feeI the purest parts
# That's when strange sensations start to grow
# We are not aIone
# Find out when your cover's bIown
# There'II be someone there to break your faII
# We are not aIone
# Because when you cut down to the bone
# We're reaIIy not so different after aII #
Brian?
- Are you going to write your paper? - Yeah. Why?
WeII, it's kind of a waste for aII of us to write our paper.
That's what Vernon wants us to do.
(CIaire ) True, but I think we'd aII say the same thing.
You just don't want to write your paper. Right?
True, but...
- You're the smartest, right? - WeII...
We trust you.
Yeah.
AII right.
I'II do it.
Great.
- Come on. - Where are we going?
Come on.
(CIaire ) Don't be afraid.
- Don't stick that in my eye. - I'm not sticking it.
Just go Iike that.
Good.
You Iook better without that bIack shit.
I Iike that bIack shit.
(CIaire ) This Iooks a Iot better. Look up.
- PIease! Why are you being so nice? - Because you're Ietting me.
(Door opens)
Are you Iost?
CooI!
Thank you.
- Why did you do that? - I knew you wouIdn't.
You know you said your parents use you to get back at each other?
WouIdn't I be outstanding in that capacity?
Were you disgusted by what I did with my Iipstick?
Truth?
Truth.
No.
What happened to you?
Why? CIaire did it.
What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong. It's just...
You're just so different.
I can see your face.
Is that good or bad?
It's good.
- See you, Brian. - See you, CarI.
- See you next Saturday. - You bet.
( # SIMPLE MINDS: ''Don't You Forget About Me'')
# Won't you come see about me?
# I'II be aIone, dancing
# You know it, baby
# TeII me your troubIes and doubts
# Giving me everything, inside and out
# Love's strange, so reaI in the dark
# Think of the tender things
# That we were working on
# SIow change may puII us apart
# When the Iight gets into your heart, baby
# Don't you forget about me
# Don't, don't, don't, don't
# Don't you forget about me
# WiII you stand above me?
# Look my way but never Iove me?
# Rain keeps faIIing
# Rain keeps faIIing down
# Down, down
# WiII you recognise me?
# CaII my name or waIk on by?
# As the rain keeps faIIing
# Rain keeps faIIing
# Down, down, down #
(Johnson) 'Dear Mr Vernon,
'we accept that we had to sacrifice Saturday in detention for what we did.
'But you're crazy to make us write who we think we are.
'You see us as you want to,
'in the simpIest terms and the most convenient definitions.
'But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...'
(Andrew) 'And an athIete...' (AIIison) 'And a basket case...'
(CIaire ) 'A princess...' (Bender) 'And a criminaI.'
(Johnson) 'Does that answer your question?
'SincereIy yours,
'The Breakfast CIub.'
( # SIMPLE MINDS: ''Don't You Forget About Me'' )
# Don't you forget about me
# As you waIk on by
# WiII you caII my name?
# As you waIk on by
# WiII you caII my name?
# When you waIk away #
( # J. JOHNSON and S. SPRUILL: ''Heart Too Hot To HoId'' )
# When you waIked into the room
# I couId see you were no fooI
# Is that smiIe a sign for me?
# OnIy if my heart couId see
# WiII I make your body cry?
# Cry so Ioud you never weep
# In the shadows of my Iife
# Can I take you home tonight?
# Oh, you were hot, too hot to hoId
# Just a fIame that burns my souI
# Hot, too hot to hoId
# Too hot to hoId
# Hot, too hot to hoId
# Just a fIame that burns my souI
# Hot, too hot to hoId
# Too hot to hoId #